So now that I’ve been single for…however long, I’ve decided to try online dating and you know what I’m going to do it right. I’m going to, try Match.com. Like have you seen the commercials? 4 out of 5 people get married, it’s hard to resist those odds and everyone who’s not on there, knows someone who is or was and is now living happily ever after with their online connection. I’m in, I create a profile, answer truthfully to the 187 questions, describe myself honestly, but stop short of posting any pictures. Let me check out a few profiles before I put my face out there and oh my starzz what if I see someone I know? Oh well shoot they on here to so they can’t be judging me. But still, I’ll wait on the photo. I check it out the first few days and while there are some decent profiles and pictures nothing really is making me want to shell out over a hundred dollars for a six month subscription with the guarantee of meeting Mr. Wonderful or another six months free. So I wait, and I’m getting to know the site. I find a section on compatible matches oh okay “CLICK” sort in order of compatibility please. This is match.com they have relationship specialist, therapist, psychologist and stuff to make sure you’re matched accordingly so let’s see what I get. “What in the name of incest is going on?” My cousin pops up as 98% compatible. I’m mortified! But only for a second now I’m LMAO…no literally I’m sitting on my couch laughing my ass off. First of all hmmm he’s married (separated, sort of but married) secondly aint no way he’s “single and seeking a long term relationship leading to marriage.” I’m off this site, I’m cool. Then I trip, we were raised the same it only makes sense we’d have the same relationship values. Clearly I’m still single because I’m related to my ideal mate (lol) but perhaps they got something right. I’ll give it another go. Then…I come across a profile of a guy that I dated who told me (humph) he didn’t want anything serious. He wanted to wait until his kids were of age as to not disrupt the flow of co-parenting that is successfully working with his ex-wife. I admired that, and felt we had an open, honest, and fun relationship. Until we didn’t and I’m still not sure why. Still not to be discouraged I forge on with the online dating. I talk myself into uploading a few pictures and boom I’m noticed.. (In my best Ice Cube voice yahee yahee) So I go ahead and subscribe to the site. Now I meet a few clowns, met up with a few folks for coffee, talk to a few OG’s and now I meet a seemingly interesting and good looking guy. We agree on a place to meet and I’m not even nervous. We’ve had such great conversations this is like meeting up with someone I’ve known a while now. I get there first, he’s late (really bruh) oh and I’m late for EVERYTHING, so he’s twice as late, and since you later than me that’s a problem. But I’ve been told I need to up my zero tolerance level so I wait could be traffic, twenty minutes turn into forty-five, that turns into me heading to my car. ERRRRRKKKK there’s a car flying through the plaza, music and horn blaring. (for crissake please don’t be my match) I sideways look and it looks like him but not really) I keep it pushing and my Lamb heels are clicking and clacking and this fool is now yelling my name out of his car window. BEEP BEEP…that’s me unlocking my car door…SLAM….that’s me closing my door….VROOOM…that’s me starting it up….BOOM BOOM BOOM…that’s him, banging on my window. How the? Exhale. I roll the window partially down. He looks nothing like his profile pictures, similar like yeah it’s him, but he must’ve caught a good light when he took those selfies.
“Self says to self, listen girl you here now, give it a chance…I don’t want to, I want to go home…I don’t even want a lemon drop anymore and my feet hurt from sprinting in my heels.”
He says he lost track of time but he’s here now so what’s up? BLANK STARE! What’s up bruh is your time.
I politely advise it’s been almost an hour. So, I don’t say no, I say you’re really late and I’ve already informed by sitter I’m on the way so perhaps some other time. He shrugged his shoulders and said “It’s cool, aint nothing” HUH why did a part of me want to stay now as I’m more intrigued and almost feel challenged, but if I don’t insist on common courtesy out the gate I probably wont get it down the line. So at the end of the day when you “Bout That Single Life” you can decide for yourself what’s acceptable and what’s not. What you’re willing to deal with, and what you’re not. And perhaps had I been in my wedge sneakers instead of 3 ½ inch peep toe heels that day, who knows, one lemon drop could’ve led to being one of the 4 out of 5 matches.