But he asked me out?

He pursued me relentlessly. Ok so it wasn’t relentless he asked me out a couple of times and I finally accepted. My hesitation was never him I have to admit my insecurities and say he kind of intimidated me. Retired professional ball player and all the ball player swag to a long with it. He was tall, dark, handsome, and muscular, you know that Idris, Kofi, Morris look all mashed up. When he’d see me he’d practically pat me on the head and one arm uncle hug me so I knew he didn’t see me romantically, (except in my dreams) and that was ok because he was also really smart, well read, religious and pretty doggone funny so we became friends. And there I was locked away in the friend zone with my ideal perfect guy. We ended up losing contact, fast forward some years to the social media era and BOOM there he was all grown up still deliciously fyyne (yes I have to use a Y, hell two Y’s) and he was friending me on Facebook. He started liking several of my pictures and sent me a few inbox messages about how grown and sexy I am now. I’m giggling, blushing, and strategically responding to his inbox messages, careful to not sound thot-ish or thirsty but open and flirty. Wait, those aren’t synonyms are they? Anyway…this reminiscing and flirting went on for a bit until he was sure I understood he no longer saw me as that innocent little quite girl. He also wanted to be sure I understood he wasn’t the same religious holy roller he was back then, that he was a full on sinner. I’m like yaaasss I’m here for it honey, you can give me a full on body hug. Now this is just in my head, I’m still keeping it cool. He asks me out indirectly, what I mean is he suggests it several times but never full on asks or commits to a date. I continue to play coy, available but not waiting and he finally suggests an actual date and time. In my best Madea voice Hallelujer. The week comes we talk, the day comes we talk, the evening comes we talk, the time comes….CRICKETS!
REALLY!? You’re a grown ass man and you’re standing me up without a word? It literally takes two seconds to send a text to say you can’t make it and you’ve gone ghost? But you asked me out! If he didn’t want to hang out then why did he ask? Next day nothing, next couple of days nothing, so at the risk of appearing desperate I have the right to know so I ask…I send him a message “like dude, you stood me up?” No response. Oh ooops, now I really feel crazy. A week later his Facebook status changes to “in a relationship” HUH? But you just asked me out? I just roll my eyes and click off his page. Two weeks later he’s posting a picture of an engagement ring captioned “when you know, you just know” WTH? And yo’ ass didn’t know two weeks ago, because remember you asked me out. So now I’m checking out the chick, breaking her down like she aint stuntin on me. We tend to want to tear down the other woman (oh I guess technically I would have been the other woman, but you know what I mean) to vindicate our feelings and make ourselves feel better. So a week later when his status changed to “engaged” I unfollowed him (HUMPH I showed him) I don’t ever want to log on and see his face again, smiling next to that average chick, I mean that beautiful black sistah…
At the end of the day, when you Bout That Single Life, is being stood up part of the game?

7 thoughts on “But he asked me out?”

  1. Facebook is the playground for the ACC (Attached and Cheating Crew). It’s where unfaithful men go to sneak into the inboxes of unsuspecting, attractive, nice women like yourself. The red flag for him was that instead of asking for your NUMBER to call you (like a real grown azz man would do) he kept it in the Facebook inbox – the CSZ (aka The Cheat Safe Zone). The unsuspecting girlfriend has no clue, and his new prey won’t either. Anytime a man is noncommital about defining a date (ie., making a reservation somewhere and checking with you the day BEFORE to make sure it’s still on and NOT the day of, cause that last minute bs should never be tolerated by a woman of substance like YOU) then you must make the decision for him and keep it moving.

    You are GORGEOUS, talented, intelligent and a GREAT catch. Your prince is coming soon…he’s just preparing to come CORRECT because you are that special 😘😘

    Liked by 1 person

  2. He was trying to see if he could get busy with her before he made that big commitment and when he realized she wasn’t gonna just throw it at him.. he gave up. #tryfling

    Liked by 1 person

  3. He probably thought it was a good idea based upon your past friendship but after careful deliberation decided to curb her instead and just fade to black


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