You don’t ignore ME. I ignore YOU!

It’s true what they say about nice guys. They do finish lasts. I’ve dated the intellectuals, corporate guys, church guys, blue collar guys, ballers, d-boys, fake gangsters, real gangsters, super, fine, sort of fine, not so fine, all of the ones ya’ mama warned you about and now I’m dating a nice guy. Problem is, it’s not enough. There are quick seconds of attraction, like when he does something nice, or gentleman like, but there’s no real physical attraction. Example: when we’re alone his presence teeters on irritation, he has no edge, can’t make a decision and when he displays any type of sexual advancement, I get the equivalent of the heebie jeebies. On the flip he’s the perfect gentleman, readily available, friendly, nice, caring, giving, agreeable, and will give me the world. Excuse me while I stretch and yawn I almost put myself to sleep thinking about a life with him. He wants to take the next relationship step but he doesn’t know to communicate that. I want to tell him like I tell my child, use your words. I’m highly bothered that a grown man who cannot communicate his feelings. I’m enjoying the perks of a nice guy without the expectations of a relationship so I’m not saying anything. So, one day he wanted to make dinner at my place. I know why, because he’s a hanger on and if I’m at his place I can stretch, yawn and say I’m out. If he’s at my place I have to drop 857 hints before I literally have to directly ask him to leave. A day before dinner a family situation emerges and I let him know I have to rain-check. He’s upset or not buying the story (which by the way was true) because he doesn’t even bother to respond. I genuinely feel bad so I invite him to a street fair in my town that weekend. No response. EXCUSE ME!!!??? You don’t ignore me, I ignore you! That lasted about five minutes as the realization that I really don’t care kicked in. So now I’m home on a Friday night, I’m bored and I’m one glass of wine and a lifetime movie away from being a Waiting To Exhale character so I text Mr. Nice Guy and say “oh really, you just gonna ignore me? ok then” about an hour later he text back “sorry about the family situation and I have to work this weekend I can’t make the street fair” Is he giving me attitude? Is he trying to side line me? I am not responding to that. Next morning he text (I guess he thought about his attitude and adjusted it HUMPH) “Headed to work, I’ll try to get off a little early to meet you” I do not respond. Now I’m getting dressed headed out to the street fair and he text again, “I’m getting off work heading home now” again I do not respond. I’ve met up with friends and family, walked the dog up to the fair, shoot…I’m busy. I’m enjoying the fun in the sun, eating too much funnel cake and he text again “I’m home” again I do not respond. So now I’m being Petty Patty delighting in the fact he’s home alone on a nice Saturday afternoon, because he had the nerve to ignore me earlier. You do not ignore me, I ignore you. I get home, feeling relaxed, my feet throbbing from all the walking and I sure could use a foot massage. I text Mr. Nice Guy and you guessed it. No response. LOL…this is getting so old.
At the end of the day when you Bout That Single Life, you have to pick and choose your battles to win the war on dating. Perhaps I should have let this one slide, because now I’m home alone, thinking about Mr. Nice Guy. And my feet hurt.

7 thoughts on “You don’t ignore ME. I ignore YOU!”

    1. Thought 1.
      This article speaks more about how today’s women truly either don’t understand love, can’t receive love, or have become numb to its influence. In each of the people that the author spoke of dating none are the type to actually respect her, love her, cherish and nurture her love. Therefore, like anything that a person is exposed to over and over she has begun to to like not truly being loved.

      Thought 2.
      Her reaction to his text shows a lack of maturity, understanding, and that she has never dealt with the baggage of her past relationship to those with questionable characters. In addition, it demonstrates that she had been seeing the nice guy but never really got to truly know him. If she had she should have known he would forgive her (because that what nice guys do) as well as known his feeling would be hurt if she stood him him up so why would she think to text to get a feet rub.

      Thought 3.
      The way in which this young lady describes the nice guy and flipped exchange is really at the heart of the article. She clearly has no interest in this guy nor does she want to take it any further but feel perfectly fine about leading him on and using him to satisfy her needs. This demonstrates that the abused has now become the abuser. The men she has said she dated are by definition self obsessed, heartless, and users (whether its her money or her body) and I’ll bet didn’t care for her emotions or psychological well being while she dated them. Therefore, after those relationships her psyche has been altered and now she is giving out what she once was forced to take in. Most women care for others, hates being lied to, and have a basic level of fair play; nor is willing to do to others what they themselves don’t like done to them.


  1. First off I’m so glad this is back, always such a good read!!! I have a nice guy that I wasn’t attracted to at first mainly because he wasn’t physically my type.. but I knew if I let him go, it would be a million years until I find another guy who treats me like his Queen. So I can relate to this article, I’m just glad I stuck around with my nice guy 🙂


  2. One must decide if he or she can learn to like some of the things that she or he dislikes because of the love that one has for the whole person. We will never have it all in the exact way that we want. Therefore we must give to get and get to give.. Love! To do this we must first learn and find out all what love is.. If one is “boutthatsinglelife” then single is what you will be!


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